The beach belongs to me

The beach is empty and quiet. Really quiet. Not the quiet when you can still hear murmurs and see people in the distance. It is the quiet when you are the only one outside while others are all inside their huts, shacks, rooms and homes. The beach is empty. The beach belongs to me this morning. Those foreigners drinking beer. Those workers from Himachal and Nepal. Those smug locals. No one is here. The beach belong to me. Just me.

The sunbeds are tucked elsewhere. The umbrellas stashed out of sight. The music boxes silenced and the candles blown out. The fancy is gone. I am the only one here this morning and The beach belongs to me. Just me.

Besides me the dogs are here too. They are walking behind me wagging their tales. I pick up an empty beer bottle to scare them away. I am no good to make friends right now because I am alone here and I am scared. Oh, its totally dark except the moonlight. Oh, I could bumped into bull sleeping on the sand. I must turn on the flashlight. I think that the beach most certainly doesn’t just belong to me. I see some people walking in the dark just randomly moving around. Where could they be headed at this time of the day? Are they here to scare me because the beach clearly just belongs to me.

Its scary if a dog approaches me or a man walks by. To be mugged would not be cool. I am scared. I realized I must be scary too to someone else. My own shadow on the sand scares me. I feel like a ghost walking in black pyjamas and hair flying in the wind. Let me just go back to the room. But this sea splattered with moonlight,  oh its so beautiful! I cant take my eyes off it except for when I type this note. This moment is peace. I can’t leave just yet for how often will I have a beach that belongs just to me.

I had spent the night watching YouTube videos. At 4 I tried waking up the sleepyhead to go for a morning walk. At 5 I decided to head out alone. And now, I am walking alone in the dark with a flashlight while the sea plays the symphony of waves. My attention wanders only when I see a dog or man in the distance. I sit, I walk. I stop, I move on.

Now, I am at our favorite tea stop where our morning walks end. They call themselves the End of The World.  I sit outside the shack on the sand.  It will be three more hours before the shack resumes kitchen. No, masala chai right now. I wonder if the sleepyhead is up and wondering where I am. I turn around my head to look at the Little Hilltop behind the End of The World.  We sat there last evening watching the sunset and had decided we would return for sunrise. I saw us sitting on the top and watching the world down below like God, with God but fretting over what future holds for us. The soft orange light falling on our faces, I am waving my hands in agony and crying a little while Vikram sat listening patiently. Why was so I worried last evening? Little did I know that next morning when I will walk sleeplessly on the beach, I will find the beach all to myself. I now look back at the receding sea, the moon wearing a net of clouds watching over it. The moon light shavings falling on the sand and sparkling all around me.

No dog, no thief, no future can scare me because right here in this moment I am free and when I look around I see that this beach belong to me.